Me vs. Me: The Annual Performance Review
So, if you’ve been anywhere near our social media in the last few weeks, you’ll be aware that Altar & Toast recently turned one. One whole year of writing vows, speeches, and voiceovers for people kind enough to trust a total stranger with their most emotional moments.
We celebrated properly. We had a big sale for our clients, and a big party for our friends - plus a few strategically invited industry types, because the wedding industry has been a lot more welcoming than my anxious temperament had initially anticipated.
It was fun. It was affirming. It was... slightly surreal. Because while we were clinking glasses and dancing to Shania, my brain was already drifting into audit mode.
What now? What’s working? What’s next? Am I still doing this right?
So, in the spirit of transparency and overthinking, I’ve decided to conduct a completely unofficial, wildly subjective annual performance review. No HR department. No 360 feedback. Just me, a Google Doc, and the uncomfortable intimacy of self-reflection.
Let’s begin.
Punctuality
Yes, arrives on time to all meetings.
No, does not end them on time.
Has been known to “just quickly wrap up” for an additional 18 minutes. Frequently forgets that other people have calendars, too.
Rating: 3.8/5
Technically punctual. Conversationally hazardous.
Communication
Responded to emails with a healthy mix of clarity, wit, and mild dread. Invented an entire sub-language of friendly-but-firm punctuation (the “gentle exclamation point,” the “I’m-not-mad-just-asking” ellipsis). Occasionally forgot to reply to someone for six weeks, then followed up like nothing happened.
Rating: 4/5
Speaks fluent professional guilt. Resilient under inbox pressure.
Leadership
Frequently motivated self using inspirational pep talks in front of dressing table mirror. Led team (me) through several existential spirals with only minor injury involving the flowers used for our anniversary party and a curb which was taller than expected. Fostered a work environment that oscillates between “deep creative flow” and “why am I crying.”
Rating: 3.5/5
Effective in chaos. Easily distracted by soft lighting and Pinterest.
Strategic Vision
Started the year with a Trello board, a couple of Notion templates, and a “flexible” pricing strategy. Ended the year with an overflowing abundance of ideas but not nearly enough time, systems, or expertise to action them all.
Rating: 3.5/5
Dreams big. Plans medium. Executes in bursts of panic.
Conflict Resolution
Excelled at diffusing tension between inner perfectionist and inner creative gremlin. Resolved several internal arguments by “just doing it badly and fixing it later.” Still working on not spiralling every time a client writes “Just a quick note…”
Rating: 4.3/5
Would benefit from boundaries.
Professional Development
Took 2 webinars. Bookmarked another 31. Completed one course. Bought three. Listened to 100 podcasts but cannot recall one actionable takeaway. Grew immensely in emotional intelligence via unrelated meltdowns.
Rating: 3/5
Invested in growth. Occasionally allergic to follow-through.
Overall Performance
Did I make any money?
Did I show up even when it was weird and hard and scary?
Did I build something meaningful and with some promising longevity?
Yes.
But I really do need to organise my Canva folders. It’s getting out of hand.
Final Rating: 4.2/5
Would rehire. Would also recommend more rest and less doomscrolling.
That concludes this year’s review. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to reward myself for a strong fiscal year with an aggressively large glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
- S